Today I put in a long day at work. Discussed a potential job at the banks. Met an old coworker for lunch. Planned a personal finance presentation. Chatted with good friends. Home-cooked dinner. Inbox zero. Budgeted.
I used my day well. I very nearly used my day well. I can reason and see that I spent my limited time doing things that needed doing, and that makes my time well-spent. I do not feel that my choices were the best. I feel the day was wasted. I feel kinda awful. The flavor of life is missing. But why?
Am I depressed? Normal mood dip? Will it pass?
Am I pouty because I want, want, want, and there is no satisfaction that will last long in the face of bottomless need? I think I cut myself off from the source of everything good, so these good things were just empty shells with no real goodness in them. So I have to… turn away from my self and my good things to go get the one thing that makes it all worthwhile.
Just do it. I know you’re lazy. I know you don’t want to help yourself. I also know that there are no alternatives. There aren’t even any bad alternatives. Just gotta do it.